Wow, That Was Some Vacation!

No, not really, I just had to think of a title. Where’ve I been? Well, I’ve been addicted to Twitter, but don’t want to inflict my inane Twittering on you folks, so no widget in the sidebar for me. Nosiree.  I’ve been around though. Trying to read more, trying to get my shit together as they say. I’ve kind of gotten fed up with the internet sometimes because the political climate is not conducive to good debate. All I can hear is screaming from both sides and it annoys me. So, I’ve stayed out of it.

On another front, I’ve tried to keep up with wonderful blogs like Kittywampus (now on WordPress) and Figleaf, who’re both excellent sources of thoughtful thorough posts about gender issues. I’ve been thinking a lot about these things and finding some new sources through Twitter. But just today, I got a whopper of a comment to one of my posts about patriarchy over at De-conversion blog.  Somebody didn’t get their cave man Wheaties this morning! Check out EK’s comment here. He’s comment #15. I had taken a break from the internet precisely because there were Neanderthals out there just waiting to pounce. Now, I know that I don’t do my research as thoroughly as the aforementioned blogs because I’m not a professional academic, but I do have an opinion and I express my opinion whenever I have a strong one. And I usually think I’m pretty respectful of another’s opinion if they are making attempts to be fair and listen. However, this guy’s (and I assume it’s a guy with the reference to women as objects, i.e. “accompaniment” as he puts it) comments were so way out of line that I wondered if perhaps he wasn’t one of those who like to drive by and stir the pot a bit just to make people angry. Still, I’ve come to expect this type of thing.  It’s not a surprise. The level of hatred is sometimes a surprise, but the sentiment he expresses is not. It proves just what my point is in the post.

So, I realize that there will always be people out there who hate your viewpoint. There will always be people who refuse to grow up, refuse to take responsibility for their words and actions, and who refuse to be civil. They aren’t my problem. And this type of behavior isn’t just for so-called “right wingers.” I’ve seen the same hate spewing from the left and the middle and from anyone who claims to be speaking from a “cause” they feel deeply wedded to. Such anger and hatred though is not worthy of any cause. No one should be so associated with a cause that attacks on it will shred their self esteem.  I think I’ve finally come to the realization that there will always be jerks out there like EK and that we can do nothing about it. We can politely inform, we can plitely give our opinions (as EK does and has every right to do), and we can politely respond. We should expect responses from the “drive by commenters” because there are always those who won’t do the hard work of research, reading, and thinking for themselves. Like children, they are just mad because someone took their playthings (women?) away. They throw tantrums and get angry and even threaten violence, because that’s what it usually comes to with the self absorbed.

So, hopefully, freshly invigorated from lightly ‘wraslin’ a snake such as EK, I can steer you to some great posts like this, and this, and this. If the commenters can’t play nicely, then I’m sure they can find a hole to crawl back into somewhere. All this thinking surely must hurt their brains. (and don’t call me Shirley) 😀


8 thoughts on “Wow, That Was Some Vacation!

  1. First, thanks for the compliment!

    About EK: I went over and read his comments, and boy, he seems to be vying for a prize in multiple prejudices. Is there any group he *didn’t* insult? If he’s worried about women being unwilling to serve as “accompaniment” maybe he should work on becoming better company, himself!

    I had a mini-infestation of MRAs over the weekend, who were drawn like flies to honey by my somewhat critical post on the troubles with Shakesville. One of them left comments on about ten different posts. He left a real gem that implies we were better off in the premodern days, when women got married at 14 and started pumping out babies … I am sorely tempted to base a post on it but don’t especially relish him coming back.

    Anyway, sorry you’re dealing with the jerks, too. I’m sure you’re right: they slowly break their brains when they leave comments so supremely meanhearted and ignorant.

  2. Hi Sungold! Good to see you. It amazes me that there are still those that think this type of comment is worthy of publishing and it’s not on surface. What’s worth publishing is showing how much we need antidotes to these ideas still out there. And you’re right; the guy seriously needs people skills. I shudder to think if he has a wife or daughters or even sons! Because we know such hatred will be implanted into the next generation. My bet is on the daughter to break such a cycle. Yes, I can imagine the doozies of comments you’ve seen and I followed the Shakesville incident on your magnificent post about that. I had no idea all that was going on, but I’m certainly not surprised!

  3. A lot of times when I encounter the idea that we’re all worse off because women fought for equality, I feel like I’m encountering the idea that a woman is always defined as a mother. The two are interchangeable. And thus, anyone who chooses to have sex while deciding to not accept the responsibilities of motherhood is seen as wrong or a freak of nature or anything like that. I remember one time I was in a discussion on abortion, and I asked what we should do/tell the women who simply did not want to be pregnant at that time, and thus decided on an abortion.

    The male pro-lifer’s response? When that woman gets before God, she can complain to Him that He decided to make her a woman. So not wanting to be pregnant somehow meant that you didn’t want to be a woman. Interesting.

    The other problem with this viewpoint — the idea that women deciding not to have children is responsible for the decline of Western civilization is that it completely ignores the time and sacrifices required to raise a productive member of society. If women are suddenly forced to give birth and raise children they do not want, what kind of people will those children grow up to be? Raised by someone who resents their very existence? Surely that would also negatively influence the Western civilization?

  4. OSS,

    Yes, that’s it. I wondered what the correlation was and you got it right. What these men complain of is that women are not taking their “rightful” place in the universe, i.e. breeders. I don’t even think they care about the mothering bit, just the breeding. At De-conversion, it’s as it EK is complaining about us for not being the good little incubators we were born to be, as if a uterus is our only reason for existing. Forget that there is a brain attached and a whole body with arms, legs, torso, etc. We are just a uterus and we should just shut up and function biologically. Sickening.

    I don’t think your argument will hold sway with such people. They don’t care about the type of people we bring into existence. They only care about numbers; and probably numbers to further their religious and political agendas. They are angry that we are upsetting their agendas. Pure and simple.

  5. MOI,

    **I don’t think your argument will hold sway with such people. They don’t care about the type of people we bring into existence. **

    And I think the fact that it doesn’t says a lot about that mind-set. As you said, they don’t care about the mothering, just the breeding. The quality of life, the impact of pregnancy and child-rearing, the lives of the children and women … it doesn’t register. It’s almost like it’s not “real” to people who have that mind-set. And so it makes me wonder how exactly they view humanity. Do they view people in a three-dimensional aspect? Or as paper-doll cut-outs?

  6. OSS,

    Well, speaking from experience of that mindset; one that is set on “saving souls” and not relating to people as they are, I can honestly say that people are not viewed as people. Fundamentalists of all varieties view people, not as complex human beings with feelings and fears and thoughts of their own, but only as pawns in a larger context, one in which their God molds and makes to a particular end. All our ways and steps are known by this God and all we need do is find the way to walk in those steps. Our personalities do not matter. Our wants and needs and preferences do not matter. We are tools in the fundamentalist fantasy that drives such people. It’s vastly impersonal even though they will say they care deeply. They do not. All I can say is that I’m glad to be free of it. I think I’ve become a far better person leaving that false world behind. Unfortunately, it’s a very hard thing to do and it takes a strong will to combat it. Most people turn that strong will against others, their ideas, their motives, etc. (such as the commenters we’ve seen have). What’s scary is the thought of a group of such people and their vast unconcern for people as people. Sad, really.

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