What's More Important

You know it’s a good bookstore when…

Where I live is more important. I am looking forward to marrying my fiance and living in his country 3000+ miles from where I am now. I have no illusions at my age that I've had a career or ever had big plans for my life. My job pays my rent, feeds me and mine, and gets me where I want to be most times. I do not live for my job. If I could have the ideal job, I have no idea what it would be. Own my own bookstore perhaps? But I will never have the money to do that. So it's a dream deferred. So I read books, imagine writing them (I'm not disciplined enough to ever finish one), and comment on others' books. But I would chuck all of it right now to be in the same place as the man I love. Unfortunately, money, immigration, our governments, and circumstances prevent all of that from happening right now. Patience is not my strong suit.

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7 thoughts on “What's More Important

  1. That’s too bad Mystery. Here is hoping that sooner than later you will be together.

    I have the same dreams. Those must be quite popular…the owning a bookstore and the book writing, that is.

  2. Hi Lorena. I have noticed that bloggers tend to be book lovers. I guess that makes sense. Loving writing. Blogging. Books. I know people who don’t blog and frankly they don’t read much either. Interesting. Thanks for the well wishes. 🙂

  3. One day, a friend and I sat outside in the sunshine and talked. Both of us with our issues, shared our ups and downs.

    I talked about a type of regret that I didn’t get back to school (yes I was a college grad but I wanted to go back to university and get a degree…med school.) During a few years I seriously thought of it but it involved time away from a family that needed a domestic engineer 🙂 … money and better health then I had at the time or any time since. I always wondered, did I let myself and my family down choosing to be a stay-at-home mom? In grade two our daughter asked me why I didn’t work. All the other kid’s in her class had moms who worked. :mrgreen:

    As I shared my doubts and wonders of ‘what might have been’ I looked into the eyes of my friend who was now crying enough tears that I thought we’d need our Wellies.

    I asked her why she was crying. Her lament was that she was a working mom and had regrets that she did not spend enough time with her kids. She being a hard-working attorney and partner in a law firm who chose to keep working after the kids were born.

    There we were. Actually, two women crying and realizing we women are way too hard on ourselves for that which was and well, can’t be changed.

    Other than wanting to be a dancer, race car driver, doctor/surgeon and astro-physicist, I would have loved my own bookstore or a big old barn with a bunch of junk in it that shoppers would see as treasures. 🙂

  4. This story illustrates exactly the way of dreams. We always want to be somewhere we are not at the moment. Nothing wrong with that, but we think that life would have been better had we done this or done that, when really, our lives are what they are moment to moment. Choosing to be happy right now is a lot harder to practice than it looks. I know! 😀

  5. Once upon a time, in the early 70s in fact, I’d just started my band, we were beginning to get gigs, and there were recording and song writing possibilities.

    I’ve always been interested in art music as well, and I’d written some stuff for a local choir. With some academic recommendation, some Rotarians offered to finance my attendance at Juliard in NYC, but I stayed here in the UK with my band and my friends.

    It’s been a fascinating and varied, if not particularly artistically exalted life. I idly wonder what would have happened to me had I taken up that offer, but it might have been infinitely worse, and comparing unknown uncertain possibilities with what actually happened is interesting to speculate about, as long as we don’t confuse it with reality. As you say Mystery, we have only one of those. The irrevocable is scary, but the poor rabbit in the headlights doesn’t even get to wonder if he made the wrong choice, he just gets the paralysis. I guess most people in this world don’t even get to make choices. Thank God we have choices, and God bless them, whether they turn out to have been good or bad. We tried, that’s the main thing (I think).

  6. WOW. You turned down money for Juliard? That is one of those moments of “What was I thinking?” But when we are young, we don’t think long-range do we? Yes, we should be glad we have choices. There is no way we can anticipate an outcome, so life is a huge risk. But what fun taking risks!

  7. I’ve noticed the same things about bloggers also, as well as those who don’t read/write them. Disconcertingly for me, I’ve noted that many of them like reality t.v. too. That isn’t my bag, but your mileage may vary.

    I too, hope you can have at least some piece of your nirvana in the near future. Keeping you in my good thoughts!

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