It’s incredibly hard to find out you are such a disappointment to so many people. Work entails hearing from person after person about what you got wrong in the bulletin and what you failed to put in. Co-workers hang up while you are still talking or cut you off in mid-sentence. There is no office for me. I can be interrupted at anyone’s whim and expected to fix everyone’s mistakes, computers, sermons, or hear the latest sagas about their problems while the whole while you are a mess. It’s finding out that everyone your fiance knows just tolerates you or downright hates you for daring to intrude. It’s finding out that one of them tried to call your boss and get your fired. It’s hearing later how shabby you’ve acted by intruding on a close friendship. It’s hard to know you’ve failed at a 30 year marriage or that you’ve been told that your son is gay because you are an overbearing mother and your husband was a passive father. It’s hard to keep it together when it’s all so relentless and comes from all sides. Sometimes you barely have time to think or answer or do the right things. It’s hard to be screamed at by your sister for daring to have a different opinion or told what’s good for you about religion and politics, especially when no one really cares what you think anyway. it makes you wonder where you took the wrong turn or what small trifling thing started you down the path of most resistance. All the while you know there’s someone gloating and firmly believing in “what goes around, comes around.” She couldn’t be more right.