“Yes Please”

AmyPoehler

Amy Poehler’s book is doing me a world of good right now.

“Great job,” he said.

“You guys missed my cue,” I said.

“No one noticed”

“I did”

“Relax, it was great.”

“Relax” is a real tough one for me. Another tough one is “smile.” “Smile” doesn’t really work either. Telling me to relax or smile when I’m angry is like bringing a birthday cake into an ape sanctuary. You’re just asking to get your nose and genitals bitten off.

Her stories and vignettes about her life and career are good therapy for women. Check it out.

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The Crash and Burn Syndrome

 

A picture of a caterpillar smoking a hookah. T...

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I’m a weirdo, I admit it. I go along almost as happy as you please and then I let things build up internally. I take an insult here and a jibe there from a coworker. I become miffed at a misspoken word or I get irritated about something. These little things add up day after day and sometimes week after week and BLAMMO!! I explode and go on a tearing bender of a fit and lay waste with my scathing wit or anger everyone who just happens to get in my way! Well, ok, maybe it’s not that bad, but it feels like it sometimes. Then, I am fine for awhile until the cycle starts up all over again.  Anyone else do that?

So what’s the answer? Religion used to soothe me. Reading still distracts me but sometimes I can’t concentrate enough to read. I’ll watch a good movie, but they only last two hours at the most.  So I’ll take a whole weekend and just become a hermit. Except I can’t do that much anymore now that I live with my daughter. But I can sure try!  Yesterday I watched the Tim Burton movie Alice in Wonderland. The movie was visually appealing and a definite work of art, but the story wasn’t so great. No, it didn’t follow the original much. Same characters, different plot. I did become very sidetracked by the glorious score by Danny Elfman:

I could listen to it all day. It soothes me.

Then I read my book for awhile:  The Gate House by Nelson DeMille. I had to put Greg Iles away (The Devil’s Punchbowl) without finishing it. It bordered on torture porn and don’t we have enough of that with all the television shows that feature the female victim of the week. I mean really! How many times do we have to see rapes and murders of young women? Aren’t there enough of those in the news. We are a world full of voyeurs.  But in any case, I don’t need that to calm my nerves now do I? My counselor once asked me why I didn’t just pray to God and, granted she was a Christian counselor, I told her that God and I didn’t communicate much anymore. She said that that didn’t matter, the very act of praying would help. So I did and right before gnawing my paws off while trying to go to sleep on the worst of the nights, I asked God to help me out here a little. Anything would do, a little peace of mind or some new insight or hey, how about some nice calming peaceful feelings? I then went to sleep and woke up feeling much better.

Now I don’t know if God did anything or not, but it doesn’t hurt to think so. It also didn’t hurt to ask. And I didn’t even have to straighten up and fly right first! Some parents could use that lesson.. ahem.. In the coming weeks when one of the most important days of my life comes to pass (my wedding), I need to remember why my fiancée and I are doing this, how little time we have on this earth to love each other, and frankly how tiny some of those seeming insurmountable problems appear from an eternal viewpoint. Whether eternity turns out to be nothing at all or some celestial kingdom, it can’t hurt to imagine one’s life in such a time frame. People get so overwrought about things that are meaningless, me especially. My philosophy should always be,  “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die!” Sometimes there’s some great shit in the bible! 😀

Annoying Orange

On a lighter note, I cannot help but love this video. The idea behind makeing fruit talk by putting human faces on them is not a new idea, but this is hysterical to watch. Apologies to those who cannot see it.

Amusing Fridays

Friday has been declared (by me) an official day to do nothing; either at work or home (I hope my boss isn’t on the internet this morning). It’s also been declared “Amusing Friday” and I will start it off with this gem of a blog and post called “Stuff God Hates”. Talk amongst yourselves (or yourself, depending how amusing you are to others).

If that doesn’t amuse you, go here.

And if that doesn’t work, perhaps pills might do the trick. 🙂

I Suck at Tests and Summer TV

I haven’t blogged much. I’ve decided that I really am paid what I’m worth and stopped the job hunt. Why? Because I scored a lousy 76(!!!) on a Civil Service test and am now re-thinking the “I’m-such-a-career-catch” idea. Jeez! Can you say LOSER? Can you see it imprinted on the forehead? I have never been good at tests. Long essays, research, and writing are my forte. Tests? Not so much. I barely passed the GRE to get into the Master’s program although I sailed through my college years with a 4.0 grade point average. Tests and I do not go together. I cannot do those stupid logic problems that says Johnny and Rachel and Eddie are in an apartment building. Johnny and Eddie live next door to Abigail, but Abigail is not on the same floor as Joanna. You know the ones!! Are you Freakin’ kidding me? Who gives a *%&$## about their apartment building. I HATE THEM! Vocabulary I get. Reading Comprehension I get. Math? What’s math? You get the idea.

Even though I had already decided to stay put in my current job, I still tested because I didn’t want to be a “no-show” and yes, secretly, I wanted to prove I could put myself out there again and BE WANTED! Wrong again. It’s humiliating to think that 34 people performed better on the test than I did! Now I’m bummed and spent the week watching this:

and this:

Yes, I know this one’s a ripoff of Ninja Warrior, but I couldn’t resist. I got a huge laugh out of it anyway. Watching people bounce on giant rubber balls and into the mud just never gets old!

I also spend my summer nights watching this:

I’m a TV geek what can I say?

So, I suppose there are worse things to do when you find out you’re past your prime in the work force, right?