Finding Light in an X-Files World

Today is the 3rd Sunday in Advent. Advent, for those not familiar with the Liturgical church year, is a time of waiting for the Christ child to be born. It is a time of darkness before light comes into the world. The world is in gestation, awaiting the birth of a Savior. In the spirit of Advent then, I watched the latest X-Files movie, which came to theaters this last August.

xfilesI am a huge X-Files fan. My children and I watched all of the seasons of X-Files from 1993, when it began, all through 2002, when it ended. It was a not-to-be-missed occurrence on par with our dedication to Star-Trek, Next Generation. The X-File were all the strange phenomena and the resultant investigations that the standard FBI would not investigate for fear of public reprisal. Usually, these investigations entailed matters of UFOs, monsters, and faith. Yes, Christian faith was always an under current of Dana Scully’s investigations. Fox Mulder had  faith, usually reckless faith, and always with one goal in mind, finding his sister alive after her abduction by aliens when she was a young child. He wants to believe, not in a higher power so much, but in the fact that there was phenomena that could not be explained away by rational science. He has faith, but cannot wholly believe because the elusive evidence is always just out of his grasp. He is only left with questions.  Scully used her scientific knowledge as a doctor and surgeon to counter-balance Mulder’s faith. She believes in what she can see and prove by science and she longs for faith. Sometimes this faith she searches for is right there, but it too slips away sometimes. They worked well together during the series’ run, sometimes proving Scully’s suspicions right about the supposed “reality” of a case and sometimes proving Mulder right. The whole idea behind the series was that there was convincing evidence to believe, but there were also times where skepticism played a deserved role and judgment had to be reserved or one simply had to accept something on faith. There were no concrete answers, which some found infuriating, but which Chris Carter, the series creator, played to great affect.

The X-Files, I Want to Believe is a dark, gritty movie that plunges us right in the middle of a new, loving Mulder and Scully, who are now living together, but no longer working together as FBI agents. Mulder is reclusive and obsessed with his newspaper clippings while Scully works as a neurosurgeon in Our Lady of Sorrows hospital nearby. After being called in to consult with the FBI on a murder case, they uncover a nefarious plot that involves transplantation and organ stealing. Sounds boring, but throw in a pedophile priest who has visions about the victims and two new FBI agents who reluctantly consult Mulder and you have a very decent stand-alone story about faith and belief. The whole plot centers, I think, around whether one can believe a sinful man can have visions from God and how much faith the two main characters will have in him and each other in order to do their jobs. We also have the priest director of the hospital that does not have faith in science when it comes to curing the disease of a young boy that Scully is concerned about and wants to perform her own experimental surgery on. It’s the godly vs. the ungodly and who speaks for God question, if anyone can or should. In the penultimate scene, Scully and Mulder discuss what they learned from it:

Fox Mulder: Don’t give up.
[he pauses as he follows Scully to her car]
Fox Mulder: Why would he say such a thing to you?
Dana Scully: I think that was clearly meant for you, Mulder.
Fox Mulder: He didn’t say it to me; he said it to you.
Dana Scully: Umm…
Fox Mulder: If Father Joe were the devil, why would he say the opposite of what the devil might say?
[she doesn’t reply, though clearly attempting to rationalize]
Fox Mulder: Maybe that’s the answer, in a larger answer.
Dana Scully: What do you mean?
Fox Mulder: Don’t give up.
Dana Scully: Please don’t make this any harder than it already is.
Fox Mulder: If you have any doubts,
Fox Mulder: [wrapping his arms around Scully, allowing her to rest her head on his chest] any doubts at all, call off that surgery and then we’ll get out of here… just me and you.
Dana Scully: As far away from the darkness as we can get?
Fox Mulder: [he loosens his embrace enough to look into her eyes] I’m not sure it works that way. I think maybe the darkness finds you and me.
Dana Scully: I know it does.
Fox Mulder: Let it try.

Neither Mulder or Scully have the answers after their ordeal. All they have are what they experienced together and separately; a collective experience if you will. They also seem to be gravitating toward asking better questions as they each mature in their love and their own respective “faiths.”

Ultimately, we are born alone and die alone, but we find our communities here and now. We have love and give love and we communicate to beat back darkness and bring about light. It’s what humans try to do best. Because we don’t have to look too far to find that darkness in a world like ours. We have plenty of evidence for that.  But how far do we have to look to find instances of light? Not only that, what are we willing to do to find that light? Can we believe in the Christmas story? Is Jesus the light? My favorite book in the bible says he is:

What came into existence was Life,
and the Life was Light to live by,
The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness,
the darkness couldn’t put it out (John 1:3-5, The Message).

But can we believe what the bible says? Probably no more certainly than what anyone else who has faith says wisely or sagely or anciently. The bible is merely a long conversation with God by people of faith of different cultures and throughout different eras.  Faith in one’s experiences and faith in what others have said are really all we have to go on, ultimately, because no one can prove anything to anyone else’s satisfaction. It’s not enough to believe certainly, that is. So, I was heartened by this seemingly dark and disturbing movie this Advent Sunday because it pointed toward Light rather than leaving us in Darkness yet again. I have the vestiges of faith in a Higher Being and I do believe in Love and Light. The movie pointed toward redemptive love and that’s what I believe in. The movie ended with still more questions  and did not attempt to answer them for us. And for me that’s the wisest route when it comes to dealing with religion and faith and questions about belief. The “moral?” Take what faith you can where you can find it. Believe your experiences and your heart. Communicate love to each other. And always look toward what Light there is that vanquishes Darkness.

Christmas Blessings on all of you.


Around the Blogosphere and In My Head

You don’t want to be in my head, really, you just don’t. I’ve been feeling rather odd lately. I can’t sleep or eat and feel all jittery. Maybe it’s too much coffee, but I can’t seem to focus on anything. Pre-menopause perhaps? SOMETHING has clouded my brain and it’s pretty persistent. So much so that I cannot even concentrate while reading FICTION, so in the meantime, and before I get my brain going again, here’s what I’ve been reading out there in Blog-o-land. Oh and in case you were wondering what the God-o-meter has been registering…. Well exactly where it’s pointing in the picture below. Zippity do da! Nada. Nowhere to be found. Just when I was supposed to contribute to our new blog too. (I’ll post Kay, I swear!) 🙂

In the meantime here are some good reads and some good listens:

I don’t get enough literature in my life since getting out of university. Here’s a good site to keep track of poetry and what’s out there. Poetry every day, if you’re into that sort of thing.

Today is the day that I officially come out as a fat person, which is defined as anybody over 120 pounds in this day and age. Hence, why I have many of the Fatosphere’s links on my blogroll and in RSS. Here is the premier site to get started researching those who are the last bastion against the onslaught of the health police, the obesity myth crowd, plain bad information, stereotyping and all manner of hatred against those of us larger than what’s considered “normal.” “As God is my witness, I will never go hungry again.”

And shouldn’t this be a tired, old story by now? This is soooooooo yesterday’s news. I’m really, really getting sick to death of hearing how the churches have all been “feminized” and men can’t be men in some of today’s churches. I’ve said before that if that’s their problem, then men should have their own church and women should have their’s. That solves the problem nicely. That way men can teach themselves and we can do the same. Problem solved.

I’ve been obsessing about this YouTube song by Beverley Knight:

Last but not least, here is a little tidbit on Feminist Philosophers blog on Aging and Sexiness. There’s a lot to be said for older women, don’t you think?


Movies and Television; What Else?

Well, the daughter and I will go stand like lemmings in the line to see The Dark Knight this weekend along with everyone else. I don’t mind going to see the movie, I just hate crowds. But, I can’t wait to see it and thus will suffer what I have to. I’ve only stood in line for a few things in my life; a roller coaster ride at Six Flags over Mid-America, Jaws when it premiered in 1974, and a Beach Boys concert (in which the concert was shorter than the wait standing in line!). I will stand if I have to and if it’s worth it and The Dark Knight looks like it might be worth it and not for the creepy motive of “let’s see what Heath does” after his untimely death either. Poor guy.

My husband is going to see a baseball game with my sister this weekend because, well, I dislike baseball and would rather drill into my eyes with a drill bit than sit in 90 degree heat and watch people toss a little ball and bat around. Of course baseball isn’t a REAL sport like football is….. (I just threw that out there to annoy the baseball monkeys). 🙂 So everyone has plans for the weekend. Then next weekend, I will be doing the canoe thing I mentioned in a previous post with my old high school chum while my hubby, son, and daughter go check out Portland, Oregon for kicks (I think they are jealous of my Hungary trip). But that’s ok. Don’t you love summer?

Television used to be a vast wasteland in the summer season because no one thought people still watched TV during those months. But I beg to differ. Now with the invention of TiVo, what’s not to watch??? When all my regular shows go on hiatus, the summer season rolls around and is almost as good as the Fall season. The Closer started last Monday and I haven’t watched it yet, but it’s safely tucked away on TiVo. It’s a good show but still an Americanized version of Prime Suspect, the best cop drama ever! Eureka starts soon. This quirky little show is only saved by its lead actor, Colin Ferguson. You see, I like shows that think outside the box and don’t think its audience is too stupid to get intelligent plots and dialog. There’s a lot to be said for reality TV and watching people make fools out of themselves publicly, but I like the unusual shows. Pushing Daisies comes back on in late July as well and that is definitely unusual. Where else can you have a restaurant called the Pie Hole and be believable? Besides Chi McBride is in it and he’s been a favorite of mine since Boston Public, Roll Bounce, and Let’s Go To Prison.

I think the one television show I look forward to the most is the recent Emmy nominated Mad Men. Excellently written and acted, this show is what network TV wishes it could do if it weren’t restricted by network wonks. It tries to portray the real world of Madison Avenue ad men in the 1960s including the clouds of smoke and back room deals and womanizing. It’s a lesson for the ladies about how far we’ve really come since then! It’s stylish without being fake kitschy. I highly recommend it. Kudos to AMC for taking on the project.

Did I mention that I’ll be inside a lot this summer?? No? Well, this week portends 90+ degree heat and humidity and when that happens, I’ll be cooling off with my good buddy the TV tube. TaTa.

Sunday Morning, “Death Proof,” and Making My Own Space

I swear to Goddess I’m two people. One week I wake up desiring church, ritual, and the whole patriarchal nine yards. Another morning, today, I wake up and the thought of church makes me slightly bilious. I find that I’ve successfully bifurcated myself into one half that respects societal norms and another half that follows passion and my true self at any cost. I realize this dissociative nature stems from my childhood where there were always the “secret” and the “public” spaces in which I moved. No one was supposed to find out about the “secret” outside of the extremely carnival horror household I grew up in. The public self was an extension of that self that acted without any holds barred, one freed from the “birdcage” so to speak. More often than not this led me into more dangerous situations as I grew older, but they were situations of my own choosing and I was, fortunately, enterprising enough, or god damn lucky enough to extricate myself from them before I got hurt.

Today, I woke up resenting religion’s tight reign on society with its frozen death grip of rules and regulations. Existentialist philosophers have always written that human beings must learn to live authentically; that we should re-center our lives around our most authentic selves and not to be afraid of it. Education, they say, empowers us to look back on our lives and see the courses we’ve taken and the paths we’ve probably not chosen with full knowledge. They advise living “in the moment” not looking to much into the past and not expecting too much of the future. I recall living that way as a teenager. The future was not to be looked at and the past was an impetus for current action. Now, that I’m grown, I see that we can make wiser choices living in the moment. No matter what brought us here, we can always choose right?

On another subject, or maybe not completely another subject, I have a predilection for horror films. I also like a lot of action films and while romantic comedies will always suck me in, films that are traditionally “guy” flicks always get my blood going. I loved Fight Club when every other woman I knew hated it (except for my wonderfully mind-linked uber-friend, Alyce) I loved Sin City and horror films do not make me flinch too awfully much. You see, I find the precarious situations in these films far less horrifying than real life has been. I’d say that having a face-off with one’s 220 pound, 6 foot tall step-father with a ripped in half cupboard door in one hand and a murderous gleam in his eye will do far more to make one nervous than any mere celluloid situation. Lately, Quentin Tarantino has become my new directorial hero. Since I saw Pulp Fiction and Kill Bill I and II, I wait for what he will make next with much expectation. While some see exploitation (or sexploitaton), I see exploitation turned on its sexist head, and a keen insight into the female and male minds. Last week my hubby and I watched Tarantino’s Grindhouse movie, Death Proof, (click the link for Erich Kuersten’s transgressive review) starring Kurt Russell and a whole host of other famous/obscure actors. We had just watched Tarantino’s Grindhouse zombie flick Planet Terror with our 21 year old daughter and we wanted her to see the second one, which was much better. So she came over and we watched it again. Watching a movie multiple times is always a fruitful thing to do. It made so much more sense to me the second time. Besides, watching Kurt Russell in his creepiest, slimiest, love him/hate him role ever didn’t hurt either.

The movie focuses on two sets of girlfriends. Each group has a familial tightness about them that makes one envious. Guys will watch the film for the wonderful lap dance Vanessa Ferlito gives Russell,

but it’s the women that make the movie here. It’s all about female friendships and the way they look out for each other, that is, those who are within their circle of friends and who “get” the girl culture. This movie isn’t for the squeamish as there is a horrific and graphic car crash that bifurcates (no pun intended) the first half of the movie from the second half. Tarantino is brilliant in that he portrays the 70s in a dazzling anachronistic way so that we are always left a little unsettled about the line between past and present. He is making clear the comparisons between the sets of girlfriends and the messages they convey to each other and to us; the audience. The ending was one of the best in film history, in my humble opinion. Go Rosario Dawson! The message I got is that we women have come a LONG LONG way and learned much since the 70s. There is never a sense that these women need rescued by anyone even though Tarantino suggests that the audience will think this and then some. These women’s strength is in their awareness and in their personal friendships. Sure, bad things happen to all of us, but it doesn’t always have to. The second half of the movie shows us that tables can turn and we don’t always have to accept our roles society places on us. We make good choices and we make bad choices. But overall, we have the CHOICE. We don’t “allow” men to give it to us. We take and make the choices ourselves. For good or for ill, it still remains our choice.

Godde, movies are great, aren’t they?

Sundays are becoming very fruitful when I remember that I can have faith and still refuse to enable the male institutions that have traditionally oppressed me. Taking a stand against being lured into an all-male ritual space again and again is the choice I have to make over and over in order to further the strength I’ve earned in the past. No one “rescued me” either when I was 15 years old. I rescued myself. There’s always the point where we have to say “enough is enough.” Unfortunately, I don’t seem to learn my lessons as well as I get older. Existentialism is great for now, but eventually looking back helps us to quit making the same mistakes, but nostalgia blurs the sharpness of that time. I find that I’m constantly looking back; always making sure I don’t fall for the same lures and tricks that I always fell for before. Keeping balance in an increasingly unbalanced, male-privileged world is the lot of women. Fortunately, the teeter is beginning to totter our way and will continue to do so whenever we refuse to participate in those “ties that bind.” I’d rather live with my hands unbound, thank you very much.

“There Will Be Blood”

Well the hubby and I spent most of Saturday evening watching There Will Be Blood. I say most because this film is 2 and a 1/2 hours long, but worth every minute. I didn’t write about the movie sooner because, well because we didn’t see it until now (since it came out on DVD and was available through Netflix) and because I’m still ruminating on all the nuances and references throughout the film. I’m also still trying to process the ending. My God the ending!

In our day, movies are notorious for either ending very badly or for ending on an upbeat and hopeful note. Somehow I don’t remember such extreme dichotomies in movies gone by, but this is 2008 after all where people are giddy about the latest political messiah or depressed about the latest war. Emotions could go either way. Yet along comes Daniel Plainview, played deliciously by Daniel Day Lewis. Now there are numerous wonderful reviews of the film out there so I won’t bore you with a blow by blow account. I only wanted to mention a few things that stick with me and might stick with you.

The first that struck me was the musical score. What an extremely odd and jarring choice of music. For the first 25 or 20 minutes there is no music or dialogue and then when Plainview finds oil, we are treated to a weird mix of sounds that are created to keep us from becoming comfortable. I don’t know why you would become comfortable anyway with Daniel Plainview. He is perhaps the most irredeemable character on recent film. What’s odd is that there are moments where you like him and agree with him and the next moment you see how despicable he is. But that’s precisely why he is so HUMAN. The twin of Plainview’s character is the creepy Brother Eli Sunday, played by Paul Dano. Where did this guy come from? What a find. For every masterful play for oil by Plainview, there is a masterful play for souls by Brother Eli. If Daniel is irredeemable, then Sunday is doubly so because his motive is not even money per se, but power. In a way Plainview and Sunday are both misanthropists, as Plainview admits freely, but Dano only demonstrates by his actions. What? But he’s a pastor? It matters not. I suspect there are many a misanthropic pastor out there. Why else is there such glee for hell?

The second thing that struck me was the powerful, masterful, and all-encompassing way that Day-Lewis creates this character. The voice, the look, the insanity…are all timed and honed to a veritable fever pitch of acting. I do not understand why Day-Lewis did not win the Oscar here. I saw No Country For Old Men and while Javier Bardem also played a ruthless irredeemable character, it was nowhere fleshed out to the nth degree as Day-Lewis’ character was. Bardem’s character was also ruthless, but in a less nuanced Terminator sort of way. But, it’s Hollywood after all, where stellar performances are rarely rewarded and political statements replace good quality choices. But I digress. Day-Lewis is a phenomenon. His reasons for being who he is are oddly satisfying and, to me, understandable. Which made me really question how I see humanity. At it’s core, how misanthropic am I? It doesn’t say much for my character I suppose if I could sympathize with the main bad guy. Well, there you go. Let’s just say … I understand his motivation.

There are so many things to point out that it’s difficult to choose where to start. There are no important women characters in this film. It’s all male, all the time. There’s absolutely nothing to soften the rough edges of this film with the softer elements of love and understanding. Mary, Eli’s little sister comes the closest to “saving” the rougher aspects of the film. The film is obviously about religion and capitalism as a weird symbiotic combination that characterized this country back then and still does now. The numerous analogies and metaphors could be analyzed to death and like a rich wonderful novel (it’s based loosely on Upton Sinclair’s “Oil” so no wonder) you want the film to fill in all the loose ends for you, but it won’t. Brother Eli’s church scenes remind me, for some weird oddball reason, of scenes out of Freaks. Don’t ask me why. And I’m sure the creepiness is fully intended. Usually I am deeply offended by someone’s view of church folk that grossly over exaggerates, especially the prophesying, laying on of hands varieties of churches. But Paul Anderson’s vision is so out-there, that it’s hard to see it as anything but a caricature. I think the message for the audience is merely that no matter how insane the pastor, there WILL BE FOLLOWERS.

Another mention must go out to the wonderful cinematography and settings for this film. Texas is a whole other character in this movie. It has a stage presence of its own, one that was briefly but beautifully evoked in scenes from The Three Burials of Melquiadas Estrada. The landscape is absolutely beautiful. You feel every raw, gritty, oily, dusty moment of this film. No actor is ever wasted either. Anderson carefully places top-notch actors in every role.

Overall, I have not had such a visceral reaction to a film since I saw Kill Bill. My tastes in movies are pretty eclectic. There is no rhyme or reason to why I love movies or why I merely like them. I enjoy everything from stupid comedies like Beer Fest to Asian horror like A Tale of Two Sisters. For There Will Be Blood perhaps the visceral reaction comes from the sheer power of Daniel Day-Lewis’ performance as Daniel Plainview. Ye Gods, but that was enough for me!

Top Six Favorite Movie Musicals

I love movie musicals. Ask anyone. When I hear the word “Oklahoma” I start singing about corn. In fact, I’m pretty much sold on the idea that Rodgers and Hammerstein have the best musicals ever! So I suppose I could do two lists, one for R & H musicals and one for all others, but I’ll try to confine myself. Here’s my list of the top six movie musicals that I HAVE TO WATCH again and again. from bottom to top:

6. 7 Brides For 7 Brothers

5. Grease

4. Moulin Rouge

3. Chicago

2. Oklahoma

1. The King and I

I also have to give a shout out to Rodgers and Hammerstein’s musical version of Cinderella which I first watched when I was a pre-teen, and that has some of the most singable tunes in musical history:

Where Am I?

…And what have I been doing? Man-o-man I’m not sure. It’s been a very weird week or so. I’ve been reading some books, watching good movies and TV, had a strange episode in the bedroom, and generally hibernating until Spring.

blaze_richard_bachman.jpgFirst the book. I’ve been reading Blaze by the pseudonymous Richard Bachman (aka Stephen King). As the note at the beginning says, King “found” this manuscript among his early writings and decided to dust it off and put it out there for our consumption. Well, folks, I believe him, because this is Stephen King at his absolute FINEST. I’ve been reading King since I was a teenager. I own every one of his books, his novellas, his short story collections, and his non-fiction. I’ve read all of them except the newest, Dumas Key, and that’s sitting on my shelf, awaiting my perusal as we speak. I know this is a bad thing to say in front of the kiddies, but when King wrote his early stuff (pre-The Stand), which included such gems as Carrie, Cujo, The Shining, Dead Zone, and ‘Salem’s Lot, he admitted to having a drug and alcohol problem. He freely writes about it in his biographical material so it’s no secret and it’s not intended as slander. Unfortunately, he wrote his best fiction under the influence of alcohol and drugs. His early works have clearly defined, heart-felt characters and tight plots that wrung the emotions out of you.

However, after The Stand, his handle on characterization and plot started to unravel. Don’t get me wrong! I loved and wrote part of my Master’s Thesis using Rose Madder. All of his “middle period” books were almost as good as the early ones: It, The Tommyknockers, Insomnia. However, I’ve noticed a shift since then and maybe it’s just because, like all writers, he has a hard time coming up with original material. But Blaze is absolutely breathtaking, in my opinion. The story centers on Clayton Blaisdell, Jr. (Blaze), who along with his partner in crimes, decide to pull off a kidnapping on a scale comparable to the Lindbergh kidnapping. The writing is tight, smooth, witty, and boy do I really care about Blaze. It’s a tragic story which leaves you rooting for the “bad” guy, in this case Blaze who can’t help that his father prevented Blaze from ever living a normal life after throwing him down the stairs a time or two. I love this character and I’m not even done with it yet, but I’m sure it doesn’t end well.

Another excellent foray into storytelling netted an anxiety riddled, hard-to-watchhardcandyposter.jpg movie called Hard Candy, starring Oscar winner, Ellen Page (i.e. Juno). She plays a 14 year old girl who is far, far wiser than her chronological age. She meets men on the internet and we think she goes home with them to have sex, but she has ulterior motives, all of which we are privy to for the remainder of the gut-wrenching film. All online predators should watch the movie. I’m not kidding, but of course they won’t, their too busy preying on underage girls and boys. Perhaps teen girls should watch this film, but they should realize that putting yourself in this situation is far more dangerous than playing around on the internet and in online chat rooms. It’s about taking that extra step into madness. In other words, “Don’t try this at home!” Page’s character is insane, there’s no other word for it. But you are compelled to root for her and, like her, feel some vindication in the face of the predatory monster that she takes on. It will make you angry or it will upset you, depending on whether you try to “feel” for the man or not. Interesting how movies make you think strongly about what it is you are feeling as you watch. I would say this movie is NOT for anyone under 18.

Well, and now to my bedroom story. Please stop reading if you don’t like frank and sexually honest discussions…….. Ok, have all the squeamish left the room? Well, this weekend the hubby and I were engaging in a little romp in the bedroom. I was on top, which I dislike, but thought, what the hey. Well, things were going quite well, but right at the point of orgasm, WHAM! I felt this pressure climbing up my spine, pool at the base of my skull, and slam around my head like an icepick hat just got rammed onto the top of my head!! I mean I grabbed my head and fell off and had to lay there for 15 minutes before the dizziness stopped and I could get up. Talk about a Buzzkill! Scared the daylights out of the hubby. The rest of the day I felt nauseous and dizzy. It didn’t really go away until later that night and the next day I felt like a blanket had been thrown over me.

Now, like everyone else, I’ve had sinus problems during the change of seasons. I’ve had cold symptoms and both my daughter and husband have had the flu. Still, I called my gynecologist (since I had a hysterectomy 6 months ago) and my cardiologist (since I had a stent put in over a year ago) (I’m a mess). Both said they’d never heard of such a thing, but a quick search on the internet got some results. In both calls, the doctors only said, “If it happens again, call us.” I’m sorry, but if it happens again, I’m DEAD!! It was the worst headache of my life and I don’t get migraines. I only drink one cup of coffee in the morning, water all day long, and MAYBE one soda at night. Anyway, it was frightening and to read about it on the internet gives me all kinds of horrifying diagnoses and “cures” (apparently being overweight is also a cause of this too and every other ill doctors know nothing about. Sheesh! Get off it already!). Well, last night, we tried to recreate the event only with me laying down. I started to get that pressure buildup feeling in my head again and right at the moment of orgasm, I did get a general pressure headache, but not as intense and not as debilitating as the one on Saturday. Today, my ears feel a little stuffy as well. I feel as if during the last year, I’ve gone to hell in a hand basket, health wise and it’s a little frightening since come this Saturday, I’ll be 48! Scary.

Anyway, that’s my tale of woe. That’s what I’ve been doing. And all this politics stuff on TV makes me sick, but apparently not as sick as the bedroom! TTFN!